06 February 2007

potty mouth

how can i say this delicately? well, it's as simple as this: i'm doing a colon cleanse. i'm on day 5 of what will be a two-month process designed to evacuate the impacted fecal matter from the inside of my colon.

i first heard about the cleanse from the coolest girl in michigan, "cousin" susan, while we were sipping margaritas and floating around the big fat boat at big star lake last summer. and, as is natural in such situations, the conversation drifted to colons. she testified that dr. natura changed her life in various amazing ways, and with that i was sold.

fast forward to january, where mr. michael and i perused the website, and were taken with such phrases as "death begins in the colon" and statistics claiming that the average person has 10-20 pounds of impacted fecal matter weighing them down. and don't even get me started on the photo gallery! (not for the squeamish)

so it has arrived, and i have diligently been cleansing for five days. this consists of 4 pills and a scoop of fiber powder in the morning, 2litres of water during the day and a tea at night. other than that you eat and live your life as normal, although what happens in the bathroom is promised to be anything but ordinary.

so far my life hasn't been changed, but i have 55 days left to go! i'll keep you updated.

and, in other less shitty news:
today's question: after the colon is squeaky clean, what should i cleanse next?

2 comments:

SG said...

I did something very similar to this, except it was unexpected and only lasted 24 hours.

You mentioned something about graphic pictures... This is a spin off of Am I Hot Or Not. I can't believe people do this! http://www.ratemypoo.com/

Rachel said...

i just ordered the cleanse and am curious if it worked for you or not