my reaction when i feel it happening is to flee -- a feeling of claustrophobia followed by a need to escape. to the bathroom, outside, out of the room. then i usually hit the floor about five steps in. when will i learn: my flee should be directed downward...my escape to the safety of the floor?
making light of this somewhat embarassing tendency, here is a list of some of my favorite fainting moments. thanks to all you friends and family for your assistance and for getting me those highly necessary glasses of water.
- the first faint (~1989) - my mom was braiding my hair in my room. beginners luck: i artfully crashed into the corner of a table in my room, creating a well-placed permanent dimple on the right side of my face
- thailand (2001) - eating dinner on the beach with ange, barrett and raf i try fleeing to the bungalow and trip over a lawn chair, an exposed pipe and then roll through some shrubbery. i awake to the thai proprieter shaking her finger at me yelling "you too drunk!"
- calistoga (early 2000s) - it was here when i discovered that extremely hot rooms are not for me. covered with mud i was falling all over the room passing out, while begging my friend not to call in the staff to help. at the time: mortifying. retrospectively: hilarious.
- madrid (2005-2006) - once it was in the basement of an irish bar. i fell over the pool table and ended up on the floor next to the cigarette machine. awoke to realize that a room full of people did nothing to help, the savages. then last night: my flight to the door was fortuitiously thrwarted by an unmoving chair. i came to on the floor with zoe saying "should we get an ambulance? yes." that woke me up. i dont need an ambulance, just a glass of water with a straw and ten good minutes sitting on the floor under a table.