07 October 2006

faint recollections

i have a tendency to faint, due to what all doctors have assured me is a healthily low blood pressure. standing up too fast, not having enough air and being dehydrated are the catalysts. it happens once every few months...most recently last night.

my reaction when i feel it happening is to flee -- a feeling of claustrophobia followed by a need to escape. to the bathroom, outside, out of the room. then i usually hit the floor about five steps in. when will i learn: my flee should be directed downward...my escape to the safety of the floor?

making light of this somewhat embarassing tendency, here is a list of some of my favorite fainting moments. thanks to all you friends and family for your assistance and for getting me those highly necessary glasses of water.
  • the first faint (~1989) - my mom was braiding my hair in my room. beginners luck: i artfully crashed into the corner of a table in my room, creating a well-placed permanent dimple on the right side of my face
  • thailand (2001) - eating dinner on the beach with ange, barrett and raf i try fleeing to the bungalow and trip over a lawn chair, an exposed pipe and then roll through some shrubbery. i awake to the thai proprieter shaking her finger at me yelling "you too drunk!"
  • calistoga (early 2000s) - it was here when i discovered that extremely hot rooms are not for me. covered with mud i was falling all over the room passing out, while begging my friend not to call in the staff to help. at the time: mortifying. retrospectively: hilarious.
  • madrid (2005-2006) - once it was in the basement of an irish bar. i fell over the pool table and ended up on the floor next to the cigarette machine. awoke to realize that a room full of people did nothing to help, the savages. then last night: my flight to the door was fortuitiously thrwarted by an unmoving chair. i came to on the floor with zoe saying "should we get an ambulance? yes." that woke me up. i dont need an ambulance, just a glass of water with a straw and ten good minutes sitting on the floor under a table.
now i have a bump on my head. drinking lots of water. how embarassing.


Anonymous said...

the first faint
- that was the weekend dave + patti got married. Also, we (you, me and a boy who lived in the neighborhood, pat??) were planning to climb mount greylock that day, but cancelled because of your fall.

jacki's dad

tami said...

dude, you're like the guy in the time traveller's wife...except that you don't time travel. and you're clothed when you wake up.

Emily said...

I also faint a lot. A few choice moments--in 8th grade English, I walked up to Mr. Vodoklys' desk to tell him I didn't feel good, and then woke up in his arms. Also mortifying. 2)waiting for the bus in Montreal. At least I was already sitting. 3)at the bowery ballroom seeing Ween on my own--and a few too many "bubblegum" hits. The lesson--less weed, more consistent breakfasts!