to-do list, another list

to do:

1. write heartfelt tearjerker mom tribute post on her birthday yesterday
   
2. tie that into record-breaking second heartfelt tearjerker post in one week re: thanksgiving, what i'm thankful for and how much the patriots rock
3. get knitting!
4. wait, finish the novel first
5. spend the next four days rocking the casbah with mr. michael
6. keep the zine up and running
   
7. stay updated on the news! days go by without my glimpsing the nyt front pages. going back to the states for the holidays, must keep up with current affairs!
   
8. 20,000 words and counting (eek!)

another list, this one unnumbered:

• here's a nice "what i'm thankful for" blog post. what she said!
• eli's helpful tips for taking good digital photos
• if, like me, you're not going to be in the 'ham for thankgiving, here is a amazing series of still photos from the niner back when it was navegable. home sweet 'ham.

happy thanksgiving everyone!

nina

nina simone is just one of those artists where...sometimes you feel like you know the vast majority of her oeuvre -- at least all the good stuff, which is most of it. then one day you're writing your novel and a song comes on that blows your mind. how have you lived so long without this song? how has it escaped your notice for this long?

and i'm not talking about a particular song, although i did have a similar experience yesterday with "nobody's fault but mine" off of her legends cd2. but what i'm saying is that i think i could continue listening to nina for the rest of my life and while writing like my 60th novel i would hear some new-to-me song that would have the power to stop me mid-thought so i could listen intently to every note she sang and played, almost make me cry and practically change my life.

you know what i'm talking about. or you do if you are familiar with ms. simone.

thanks, america!

my mom emailed me yesterday to say that a suprise package had arrived at her house in the 'ham. the us embassy in madrid mailed my keys and wallet, complete with license and credit cards. although i have had to cancel and replace all of those things anyway, it is nice to know that somebody, somewhere along the line did a good deed.

so thanks, random stranger, for help restoring my faith in humanity. and, i know beggars can't be choosers, but if only you could have included my armwarmers in your care package, they are so irreplacable! but thanks, i really mean it.

and thanks, us embassy, and more specifically the us state department and by association condoleeza rice for doing a girl a favor!

i found it

i found my writing music: my muse, so to speak. this year it's you are free, by cat power.

i realized that this was the one yesterday when i was burning through my daily 2,000 words, trying to finish so i could hit the town. i was on a roll, typing as fast as i could think. suddenly the album ended, and not wanted to break my rhythm i simply hit play and started again from the beginning.

and there you have it: perfect writing music. it has to be something old, something that i have heard many many times before, but haven't listened to in a long time. it has to be smooth and steady with lyrics that aren't too demanding. but i also realized that having lyrics is important; the ratatat just wasn't working. i would listen to the music instead of writing. so ms. chan marshall, i thank you. i put down those 2,000 words in an hour and was soon out the door, humming the tunes as i hopped on the metro.

nothing to declare

in my spare time i have been working on designing and creating a webzine called nothing to declare. from the zine: nothing to declare is a webzine started in november 2007 in madrid, spain. it is inspired by the unique experiences that occur when one is traveling or living away from one's home. we look for original voices to bring these experiences to the masses.

i'm going to try for five previously unpublished features per week: monday through friday. i want to make it as multi-media as my internerd skillz can handle; i'm hoping to include photography, music, video etc. i also have a wishlist of design/functionality changes that should be rolling out over the next few months.

the idea was born the day i watched my friends paint a mural on the wall of my terrace - i thought: wow, my friends are so talented, they really rose to the occasion. i felt like many of my talented friends don't often get the opportunity to showcase their brilliance. thus, the webzine.

i am still looking for more people to add to the roster, so if you or anybody you know is interested in contributing, send them my way. and please help me spread the word! u hope you enjoy!

music to write novels to

when updating my profile on the national novel writing month website, i noticed a new field: favorite music for novel writing. you may recall that part 1 of this novel was written mostly to the tunes of badly drawn boy. i had randomly downloaded that album last november and it just happened to be the perfect writing music: steady, melodic, not too catchy, not demanding too much attention.

this year my music collection stands at about 20 albums. after 40gig of un-backedup music was stolen from me, i'm back at zero: a blank state. i'm slowly piecing it back together which is either extremely frustrating or a fun challenge, depending on how you look at it. (any music contributions/donations are welcome! really, i've lost everything!)

but the real question today is, what to put on while i'm writing? right now i'm rocking the ratatat, but will it carry me through? will it be the soundtrack to part 2? any suggestions?

personal projects

november is upon us again, which means that it's time for me to write a novel. last year i wrote a 120-page story that i'm really proud of and that has received good reviews by the few people who have read it. i've decided that what i wrote last year is a good part 1, and this year i will continue the story with a part 2. together i hope the two parts will form an actual novel.

in other news, i've been working on putting together and launching a webzine. this has been eating up all my free time and is a project that i'm extremely excited about and proud of. stay tuned for official launch info later this week.

and, shmemily came to visit last week and we spent the last six days gallivanting around madrid and granada, celebrating halloween, conversing and drinking some scotch.

SO. that is my news. i have been busy. here is what i have been reading, in the meantime:

• steveO wrote a great piece on CWILFs at 10 zen monkeys
• eli started a blog
  
• springsteen covers at stereogum
• GO PATRIOTS!!!!!
  

maddington mountain bear anderson

on saturday august 11 2007 the world lost a beautiful being, a kind soul and a loyal companion. bernese mountain dog maddington mountain bear anderson, aged two and a half of orford nh passed away from cancer. she left behind owners tami and adam.

maddington was a part of nature, even as she loved nature herself. she loved mountains, water, snow, grass and other creatures. she was never more beautiful than when running through a field or standing proud on top of a mountain.

yet maddie was also a vital part of the human life she inhabited. a perfect housepet, she neither barked nor chewed nor scared children. she loved people with her whole heart and they loved her back. she touched the lives of everybody she met.

so this is maddie: the perfect blend of wild and tame, of animal and human, of pet and friend. a dog to take camping or swimming or hiking, or to have at a bbq or to cuddle in bed with. she is gone from our lives in presence but not in spirit, always in our memories and our hearts - the best dog, our dear friend.

i was attacked

as many of you may already know, i was attacked while walking home last friday night. a man came up behind me and strangled me with his arm, cutting off my circulation until i passed out. i woke up lying on the sidewalk and my purse was gone. i think i was unconscious for under five minutes, but i didn't see anybody else and nobody was around to help me. there had been another man across the street when it happened, but they must have been working together because he didn't do anything to stop the attack or help me.

i must have hit my head because i have a huge bump. also my neck was sore from being strangled and my tongue was swollen from biting down on it. at the end of the day, i was extremely lucky that this was the extent of my physical injuries. it could have been so much worse.

things i lost (tangible) include my phone, mp3 player with my entire music collection (not backed up), armwarmers, wallet with about 40e inside, monthly metro pass, sunglasses, and the bag itelf.

things i lost (intangible) include my ability to walk around without being scared. for now i am taking taxis and taking my friends up on their offers to escort me places.

i filed a police report, but i didn't really get a good look at the guy so there isn't much they can do. the police told me that this type of thing is fairly common. and i agree; these things happen and i guess my turn was up. again, i'm lucky to get away with just minor bumps and bruises.

it is going to take me a while to get over this, and i am doing so at my own speed. i have good and bad moments. needless to say, i will be much more careful when and how i walk alone at night. however, there is no way i can avoid it altogether; i am a single woman without a car living in a city and i go places after dark.

i so appreciate the outpouring of love and support that i have felt from all of you. the reason i'm writing this is to tell you that i can't talk about it anymore right now. i need to stop reliving it two or three times a day in individual conversations or emails. so now you all know what happened and how i'm doing. i feel everybody "there" for me and it means so much, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

a quick list

three times i miss living in the u.s.:

1. in the cereal aisle of the grocery store
2. sundays during NFL season
3. when a new wes anderson movie is released (spain release date: january 18)

my favorite poem

i'm not one for poetry, but this is my favorite. i read this in college and it continues to put a smile on my face, making me think of new york, of looking on the bright side of things, of love and sunny days and a bounce in the step.

steps - by frank o'hara
How funny you are today New York
like Ginger Rogers in Swingtime
and St. Bridget’s steeple leaning a little to the left

here I have just jumped out of a bed full of V-days
(I got tired of D-days) and blue you there still
accepts me foolish and free
all I want is a room up there
and you in it
and even the traffic halt so thick is a way
for people to rub up against each other
and when their surgical appliances lock
they stay together
for the rest of the day (what a day)
I go by to check a slide and I say
that painting’s not so blue

where’s Lana Turner
she’s out eating
and Garbo’s backstage at the Met
everyone’s taking their coat off
so they can show a rib-cage to the rib-watchers
and the park’s full of dancers with their tights and shoes
in little bags
who are often mistaken for worker-outers at the West Side Y
why not
the Pittsburgh Pirates shout because they won
and in a sense we’re all winning
we’re alive

the apartment was vacated by a gay couple
who moved to the country for fun
they moved a day too soon
even the stabbings are helping the population explosion
though in the wrong country
and all those liars have left the UN
the Seagram Building’s no longer rivalled in interest
not that we need liquor (we just like it)

and the little box is out on the sidewalk
next to the delicatessen
so the old man can sit on it and drink beer
and get knocked off it by his wife later in the day
while the sun is still shining

oh god it’s wonderful
to get out of bed
and drink too much coffee
and smoke too many cigarettes
and love you so much

links for my friends

• for jeff: the social patterns of baboons. basically, the popular kids are the ones who get laid.
  
• for seth: chicken-related genius
• hey ladies: here are some things to look for in a man, thanks to popular mechanic. oh, and fellas? you're a bunch of assholes.
• this one's from emily, and goes out to those of you who like to break the law and get away with it. fascinating.
• for mark, and other folks from the 'ham: old school.
• this is required reading for everyone: genius.
• and this is just "hilarious"
  

two weeks late

two weeks ago the one-year birthday of this blog passed unnoticed by me. a selfish and self-absorbed lady i am, busily nursing her one child (laptop) while the other (website) sits in the corner crying and unloved.

a year ago, in my first post, i set out three reasons for writing here, and a year later i can say that two of the three have been quite successful.

first, i wanted to get in the habit of writing every day for the upcoming novel project of last november. well, every day is a lofty and rather unrealistic goal -- but, this is my 117th post which means that i write about every third day. not so bad, considering i take months off. also, this has been great for my confidence and motivation as a writer. hey, i even finished that novel last year and i'm ready to do it again in a couple of weeks!

second, i wanted to pose questions to myself and my readers. ok this one didn't really stand the test of time. but the questions i did ask provoked some comments, which are always nice.

third, i wanted to "better keep in touch with myself and others." my, how this has happened. i am continually amazed by the amount of people who actually show up to and read this blog: mothers of friends, friends of mothers, long lost high school buddies, people who i have never met. it is also a highly convenient and efficient way of letting everybody know what i'm up to, which makes seeing people after a long break more enjoyable because there is less catching up to do. and keeping in touch with myself? as i said a year ago, i'm not a diarist, so short of reading old emails i've sent this is the best way for me to remember what i've been ranting about in recent times, to make sure i'm not too repetitive.

most of all this blog has made me want to be a better writer: to think harder and form more concrete opinions and express them wittily and with insight and wisdom. i'll come back to that sentence next year and we can see how i've done.

thanks for reading, though. xoxoxo

rugby football

i always say that americans don't like teams that win too much; we prefer underdogs. a team that wins its first championship in years is a crowd favorite. if the same team wins again the next year we are happy for them, but losing our patience. a third win in a decade and the team is suddenly the one to root against, the common enemy.

as a new england patriots fan i witness this phenomenon all the time. nobody likes the patriots, and why? "they always win" is the complaint i most often hear. ok, they've been winning for the last five years, but for the first 25 years of my life they never won. and now it is the du jour to hate the patriots. we americans don't like winners.

last night i went against this seemingly ingrained american quality by rooting for the favored-to-win new zealand all blacks against the french les bleus in a quarterfinal game of the rugby world cup. the bar was full of french people and i was with my kiwi friend. although i didn't have too much emotion riding on the game it's easy to root for new zealand, and easy to root against the french.

new zealand dominated the first half of the game, and seemed to be easily coasting to victory, as was expected. but then france snuck up and played harder, made fewer mistakes and wanted it more. although the french fans in the bar were kind of obnoxious you had to be happy for them. their jumping up and down and cheering in the face of the annointed favorites gave me a taste of how everybody will react if the patriots lose this year.

you see, the patriots are just a little too favored, they're a little too good this year. they are set up to fail, to rest on their laurels, to believe the hype. and while i love my team and think they deserve to win this year, i know everybody else will be even more satisfied to see them lose. so to the all blacks and the rest of new zealand i lend my condolences and hope i won't be sharing a similar fate come january.

camino de santiago

i spent two weeks at the beginning of september walking 300km across northwestern spain. i was tracing the steps of ancient pilgrims before me, who for centuries have been wearing the path toward santiago de compostela and the remains of saint jacob. this is one of christianity's three great pilgrimages, the other two being jerusalem and rome. but the camino de santiago is currently the most popular, with over 100,000 pilgrims each year.

a pilgrimage is a spiritual journey, and the night before i started walking a nun at the pilgrim's benediction service told us that pilgrims are searchers. "what are you looking for?" she asked, and her question stayed with me during the long walk ahead, always playing in the back of my mind, like a song i couldn't stop singing. initially, i was searching for peace and quiet after a busy summer, for a chance to be alone and disconnect. but the pilgrimage is more than the trail itself, it is a way to bring questions like this into focus, so that you can bring them home afterwards. and questions like this do not always require an answer. indeed, what am i searching for?

the camino taught me how to suffer, and although the physical pain -- for me, it was localized in my feet -- was often overwhelming, it is already dissolving from my mind and will not be what i remember about the camino. the physical beauty of the trail was specatcular: the cold mornings watching the sun lift out of the fog, the dank wet cowpaths in galicia, the stone villages full of toothless farmers, the blooming wildflowers, the steep mountain passes, the cobblestone streets. as well, the beauty of my fellow pilgrims was incredible and humbling: there is an instant camraderie bordering on love that develops between people who are experiencing something like this side by side. i have never been so well cared for by strangers.

so now i am a pilgrim returned home, changed in ways that i am still appreciating. my feet are still recovering, but my spirit is ready to keep searching.

brain crash

a long time ago when i lived in san francisco a colleague told me his personal theory that our devices -- computers, cell phones, pdas, etc. -- have become offloaded parts of our brains. certain functions previously accomplished by the brain such as remembering phone numbers, organizing schedules, keeping track of birthdays were now being done by the parts of our brain that consisted of zeroes and ones.

therefore, he posited, when one of these devices crashes we feel as if a part of our brain has malfunctioned. it is more than a mere inconvenience, worse than our car breaking down or our refrigerator dying. it is as if a part of ourselves has crashed as well.

it is in this state of crash -- partial crash, really -- that i have been existing in the last few weeks. my two and a half year old laptop has suffered a mysterious affliction, one that has had me up nights, waiting by the hospital bed, saying encouraging words, trying to nurse it back to life with the help of experts. this effort has been compounded in the difficultly that i am operating on limited brain power. i have crashed as well. you may have noticed: i am less informed on news and celebrity gossip. blogging has been nonexistent. emailing is sporadic. my sunny disposition has also been affected.

currently we -- my computer and i -- are back up and running on a provisional level, but things are still touch and go. in lieu of flowers, please send your good thoughts and any brand new laptops you happen to have lying around.

things i've been reading

i leave new york today at 4pm on a flight to dc. this trip has been amazing, so chock full of memorable events, friends old and new, and stories that i have been too busy living life to blog about it. this hectic pace landed me sick on my ass for a day this week, but now i'm up and at it again, off to the next phase of this rapidly dwindling summer.

i want to thank all my friends in new york for a most incredible month. i feel so lucky and blessed by the spirit and generosity of my new york family. special love to michael, emily and timmy who have made this one of the best months of my life.

before i head off, here are some things i've been reading of late, enjoy.

• astaire vs. grant: who is the style king?
• are you sick of the election yet? with all the debates and snippiness, here are 20 things you won't here the candidates talking about.
• a theme for the summer could be: infrastructure failure. between the steam tunnel, the bridge in minn, the subway shutdown, a 4-story building collapse in east harlem, i'm beginning to get scared, fear tactics notwithstanding

ok there's more but i have to finish up some work, and work socializing, before i'm audi!

bullet

• no reservations: worst movie title since maid in manhattan

more soon, i promise

jacki's viewless reviews - music and lyrics

this is a new feature on my blog, where i'll review a movie based purely on the title, the poster and my bitter soul. i promise never to see these movies or read anything about them, so you'll have to let me know how far off i am from the truth.

music and lyrics (2007)
(note: this movie just came out in spain)

he is a has-been songwriter who has penned hits for several manufactured pop groups - think spice girls. he was renowned for his radio-friendly hits, his forays into drugs and alcohol and his scandalous affairs with salacious members of said pop groups. this has led to demise, and liberal usage of the term "washed-up."

she is a classically-trained pianist who is gifted but not quite good enough for juilliard. she has always shunned pop music as culturally devoid nonsense, but now she needs money/is learning to push her limits/wants to make a name for herself/wants to get back at the ex-boyfriend who left her for the lead cellist of the boston symphony orchestra.

there is some kind of contest, some kind of reality show where one song will win and the songwriters will win lots of money and eternal fame and the chance to avenge all their past mistakes. somehow, despite their differences, through the encouragement of their adorably wacky best friends, these two team up and give it a shot.

hilarity ensues. and musical montages. slowly they grow on each other, learn from each other. romance blossoms. then disappointment - he appears on page six stumbling out of a strip club with the girlband vixen. but the contest is tomorrow! a midnight expression of love, possibly in central park. he begs for forgiveness. she relents.

somehow the lessons they have learned are perfectly expressed in their winning song, which they sing onstage together in front of screaming fans - this song bridges the pop-classical gap, appeals to all the fans they had and lost, and finds new ones. true love.
THE END

top five cartoon crushes

animation has provided us with countless lady hotties, but cute cartoon guys are harder to come by. maybe because this is classically a domain of prepubescent boys and older male nerds. however, i've had my share of cartoon crushes, and here are the best of them:

5. silver surfer - ok this one is going to seem trendy because of the movie, but some of you may remember that i had a silver surfer action figure way back in college. his appeal is unquestionable: he's basically a big silver hunk of man on a surfboard, a perfect combination of intensity and laid-back surfer chic. kind of like owen wilson. i mean, this guy will save your life, then take you for a fish taco on the boardwalk.


4. james barris - confession: i have an enormous crush on robert downey jr. so when he showed up in a scanner darkly my crush naturally transferred to his animated version. this is classic rdj: although he is a brilliant actor he never seems so comfortable in a role than when he is playing a druggie. his magic - and i think this also holds true in real life - is that he can make even the biggest fuck-up irresistibly charming. although, as you probably know, i'm a longtime member of the keanu fan club, rdj stole the scene here, as he always does.

3. aladdin - all you have to do is scroll down this list of disney princes, and see that the role of mr. charming was historically lacking in hotness. here we see a bunch of middle-aged looking wasps who usually arrive in the last few minutes of the film to sing a song and sweep the damsel away on a horse. well that all changed with aladdin. he's basically a homeless guy with a bangin' bod, a great personality, a hilarious buddy and a cool pet. i love how his scrappy bravura cracks to show a vulnerable side once he assumes his alter-ego of prince ali. let me tell you, chicks dig this type of thing. we were all there swooning with those ladies as he paraded through town on an elephant, knowing that his confidence was concealing a secret shyness.

2. rio pacheco - rio is one of those guys you like even though you know that he's kind of an asshole. he started out as basically a good guy, a volunteer at the foster home and jerrica's boyfriend. however he eventually developed a crush on jem and the show ended on a cliffhanger with rio double-timing two girls who are the same person. this is undoubtedly one of the great unsolved endings in television - this whole sopranos thing pales in comparison! the truth is, rio's bad side is what makes him sexy: the lying, the deceit, the secrecy, and yet he can be a real sweetie when he wants to. i mean, if jerrica really trusted him then wouldn't she tell him her identity? perhaps with a guy like this you need to have your own secrets.

1. trent lane - absolutely the most crushable cartoon fella out there;
even the ever-cynical daria couldn't help but blush a little when trent was around. trent's rockstar slacker attitude was peppered by a hint of zen calmness, his soft raspy voice delivered the type of inane truisms that only truly attractive people can get away with, and his slight slouch suggested a world weariness - a wiseness, dare i say? - that perfectly defines a classic childhood crush: your friend's older brother.


any to add to the list?